It is good to know what is called the ‘frame’ of the psychotherapy which is held by any therapist you approach. In my offering, we would arrange a consistent time and day for our meetings – either once or twice a week. This time is reserved solely for you and you are responsible for payment of every allotted session time. If you’re not able to attend, I hold the space and continue the work in your absence. I don’t offer psychotherapy that is less consistent: there are forms of therapy and emotional support which work very well with more random or infrequent meetings, but that is not what I offer.
Relational psychotherapy means offering a very particular kind of relationship, and the work and effect of the work goes on over time – both in and outside of sessions. The physical presence and verbal connection we have during sessions that are attended by us both are important: however, what happens in absence is equally important for the work and often even more so. On this basis, all sessions are charged for unless I am taking time out for my own rest and nourishment – for which I give a lot of notice wherever possible.
Cognitive neuroscience tells us that at least 90% of what drives uour behaviour and emotions is unconscious (literally – we are not aware of it) and so it can be hard to understand why we do things in ways that cause us suffering. In depth psychotherapy, the aim is to be a ‘detective’ about our unconscious minds – to find out what is going on when we want to change something and can’t change, or experience indescribable or painful symptoms. If we can understand these more unconscious processes then we can change and take better care of ourselves. However, human beings have defences which need to relax if we are to allow these internal processes to be discovered in psychotherapy.
I believe (in line with most analytically-oriented psychotherapists) that consistency and predictability from both you and me are needed for this relaxation of defences to occur and for something new to happen. For a perhaps more poetic illustration – watch the movie Inception! If the meetings are not consistent, there is often too much space for these unconscious processes to ‘hide’ – the consistency of our frame is not supposed to be rigid or controlling: it is a tool which helps us both see the unconscious landscape more clearly. As the artist Abbas Kiorastami says: “I’ve often noticed that we are not able to look at what we have in front of us, unless it’s inside a frame.”
Invoices are issued on after the completion of a month’s sessions – the invoice is emailed a couple of minutes before the first session of the following month. I accept payment generally by bank transfer or cash and my standard fee is £90.
